Yesterday sure was a challenge. I’m trying to figure out how and why the social care system and the education system has become so deeply flawed and inherently damaging.
So yesterday, I had very distressed friends with me. They are adopters of children with varying challenges. They are a socially conscious and kind, caring couple who provide the best for their children.
They are legally entitled to adoption support, and are lead to believe that the state thinks All Children Matter, that they have a level base of various rights and responsibilities to their family and the future of their children.
However, like many more of us, they received no automatic support and when the pursued said support, they were met with obstacles.
Having met these obstacles, they persevered, thinking that they were right to do so and that the support would promote the best outcomes for their children.
Tbey did get support – assessments, reports, an adoption social worker, some medical help. But all along there were hiccups, lack of genuine intentions by social care, and an uneasy feeling that they were getting nowhere.
They lost a good deal of their support because of some allegations from a third party.
A SAR was issued, and (I could have written this myself as it is so predictable) hocus pocus – a long running indication has been revealed that this couple are being suspected – or stitched up – as parents committing Fabricated and Induced Illnesses.
This couple are having therapeutic reports used against them which they fought for – as support for the children. Now used as a weapon against them.
Insidiously worded notes and comments throughout… parents quoted out of context etc etc.
Parent thought to be obsessed with accessing diagnoses.
But the diagnoses the children do have are not being supported. The support they are asking for is legally available to them. In policy and documentation, they are clearly told that they are eligible for the support and therefore they have applied for it.
So because they have applied for support they are eligible for, they are under suspicion. For adopting vulnerable children who have challenges, they are now labelled attention seekers. The children are vulnerable, for by asking for legally entitled support, the air is heavy with the threat of removal from yet another home.
Oh but attachment issues are not recognised for support of children – only for criminalisation and exploitation of families asking for Support They Are Legally Entitled To.
And how are we to know that the biological parents would have been perfectly fine had they had support that THEY were legally entitled to ? But attachment disorder is only caused by wicked, neglectful parents of course and NEVER by social workers ripping kids out of homes arbitrarily to finance cash rich agencies dealing with the fostering and adoption of children… no, never.
This can not be ignored any longer. This culture of threat and intimidation is causing major emotional stress, fear, insecure attachment, mental health problems and it is smashing families up resulting in long term trauma to these children that supposedly matter.
The hypocrisy is blatant. As are these strategies used over and over again with adoptive and SEN families, and especially those unfortunate enough to be prey to the Family Courts.
This isn’t social care. It’s human trafficking, right here in our society.